Kimmyverl07's Blog

>”,My Love Story!

Love is any of a number of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection and attachment. The word love can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from generic pleasure (”I loved that meal”) to intense interpersonal attraction (”I love my boyfriend”).
All of us are born to love God, our family and friends.But there’s still one more, we are born to look for that someone whom we will share our life with forever. As we grow older, we discover in ourselves that we are beginning to like someone. Not just because that person is handsome, kind and smart but it’s because we are feeling something that even ourselves cannot explain.
Almost one years ago, I found this person in Friendster. From the moment I saw her, I really cannot explain the feeling that I feel inside. I just kept on staring at her pictures for several minutes. Then I day he ask me my number and a day after I gave it. I was so happy and I kept on smiling. he texted me using her sister’s phone and good thing his happy that I replied. From that moment, we became good friends. After few days, He admitted his feelings and I admitted my feelings too. I cannot believe that he became my boyfriend that afternoon. Even though she is my 2nd BF, I can say that he is the one that I really love so much. I can say that he is perfect because she is so kind, loving, loyal, handsome, and most especially understanding. We always talk over the phone all day and night. But as usual, there are times that lovers do quarrel. We do quarrel but we reconcile after a few minutes. That’s how we love each other. We cannot take that one of us will cry.
As time passed by, I discovered that I am changing, not the feelings but the attitude. I became so bad to her. I became demanding, short-tempered, and insensitive. Because of that, we quarrel most of time. I always leave her alone. But because I love him so much, I cannot take seeing him so sad. He always calling me to comfort me and apologize. I do not know why I changed a lot. He told me that his spoiled me a lot. Maybe that is the reason.
Then the most tragic moment happened. I broke up with him and told him that I don’t love him anymore. but I was lying that day. He really does not love me anymore I think,. My friend became her boyfriend. When I discovered it, I experienced several FIRST TIMES.
That night was the second time I am hurt so much.
That night was the first time I vomited.
That night was the second time I cried a pail of tears.
That night was the first time my body felt so numb.
That night was the first time I almost died of heart attack.
It hurts a lot but I have to accept it. It’s my entire fault anyway. But when I called him to apologize, he began to lose his mind. His so confused. He broke up with my friend and came back to me. But I am blinded by what I am thinking that he still loves me. After three days, he told me that he really does not love me anymore and it was too late when I changed. He just pretended the entire time. All my plans were crushed down into pieces. I cancelled my flight. But I did not lose hope. I am still hoping and waiting for him at that time. I always pray to God that someday he will realize that he still loves me so much. I did nothing than crying. I cried and hugged my sister. I cried in front of my friends and asked them to comfort me. When my mom called, I cried and she told me to forget everything. Because of that, I cannot study well, I cannot eat my food, I cannot leave my room because I am afraid, and I learned to drink just to forget her for hours.
Since I do believe that he will come back, I waited for him. One day, God answered all my prayers. He left a message in facebook’s chat box saying “i love you forever”. I was sleeping when he left that message. And when I woke up and read the message, I felt so relieved. I was so happy. That night, he told me ill wait for his call. Then he hastily dialled my number. I do not know why but I cannot cry anymore even if I wanted to. Maybe because I’m tired of crying already or maybe because I feel so secured because his home. He explained everything to me. I cannot believe it! Indeed!
I asked him, “Do you really love me now? Are you still pretending that you love me just to make me happy?” then he answered, “No. I realized that I need you in my life. Thank you for waiting. I missed you so much.”
From that moment, I can do whatever I wanted. I can now eat well, do homeworks, surf the net, chat with friends (not crying in front of them), tell jokes, smile, laugh, and so forth. But I still have a problem. Because of what happened, I am traumatized and I am having a difficulty of coping with it. I am always afraid. I always think of negative things that make me so sad. But he is always there to comfort me.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!
I want to give an advice to all the people who have read and who will read this entry:
Love your partner to the fullest. Don’t make decisions when you’re angry and don’t make promises when you’re happy. To everything that you will do, think of it first. Think of what will be the possible consequences because it might be too late when you made a realization. I’ve learned all these lessons. I hope this will change your minds for the betterment of your relationships.